[Backyard Sports] With My Son

With the summer weather in full blast (until I wake up at 5am for work and there's frost on the ground), the Dekearoon and I have been outside playing any sport you can imagine. Not that we really stop for the winter, which you will see in the pictures of the boy with a heavy coat on his back and a basketball in his hands, but the spring and summer is when we really get into our groove.

I wasn't lying.

Before we go any further, please be forewarned that this post will include a multitude of pictures. I love showing off pictures of my cute little dude. It's my thing. Live with it. That said, let's move on.

With a picture!

The miniature and I went down to the cafeteria of my old high school on a Saturday morning a few weeks back to sign up for the fall soccer club sponsored by AYSO. It will be his first organized sport and while I'm very excited about it and confident that he'll do just fine it still worries me sick. I just don't want him to mess up and feel bad about it. The look on his little face would break my heart. Of course I understand that it's a learning experience and that's the kind of thing that helps a kid grow, but he's still my baby, darn it.

I mean come on, look at those baby blues!

Enough with the fatherly worrying. We play soccer all the time out behind the house and it's generally our outside playtime starting point. From there we transition flawlessly into basketball with Deacon dunking like Air Jordan and Daddy shooting the three pointers from alllllll the way down town.

He even sticks out his tongue. Not pictured, sadly.

I'm a baseball guy and I was very glad to find that he picked up on it like he was a seasoned pro. I was even more excited when he decided that he felt more comfortable batting left-handed instead of on the right side of the plate, since that's just like Daddy. He liked hearing that too. Kid's got a heck of an arm on him (right arm, sadly) and he tosses it right to me, accurately, even from a decent distance away. When he first started doing that (before his 3rd birthday at that!) I was on cloud nine. It was honestly shocking to me that he could throw a ball that far.

HA! HA! HA! HA! I'm so clever.

Pictured: Future superstar. His words, not mine. Cocky brat.


That tee has gone further than the ball in the past.

We don't play football a lot, which makes the wife very happy. We do occasionally toss the ball around and he likes to play what my friends and I used to call "kill the carrier". There was an awesome pool version too, which involved dunking heads under the water and occasionally losing somebody right over the edge of our above-ground pool. Those tales can be told at a different time in a different blog.

We used this picture as part of a birthday present for my father last year. I swear I saw a tear.

Frisbee is one that needs work. We've played it before, but he's a bit afraid of the flying disc hurdling towards him through the air, so he generally turns around and it hits him in the back of the leg. My wife and I are going to have to come up with a plan to get his mind off the fear and back in the game. He throws it pretty darn well though.

I don't have too many bruises from errant throws.

The area he really needs to work on overall is the catching part of sports. He can throw a baseball, toss a football, fling a frisbee and put up a decent jump shot (that does need some work) but if he finds himself on the receiving end of a projectile he acts like he's the dodgeball team captain. His hand-eye coordination has certainly improved and he can catch a ball that's tossed to him, but if it isn't right into his hands he's not likely to make a reception. Kid's got no range.

Not even a fraction of the collection we've built.

Outside playtime with my Dekey is always a blast. Sweat flies, faces turn red, breathing gets heavy and baseballs hit Daddy in uncomfortable places.* I can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon with my son than seeing him laughing as I chase soccer balls around the yard and feign being faked out before he slams his basketball so hard that the whole set up falls on top of him.

I really, really, REALLY love being a daddy.


*Yeah, yeah. It's a wiffle ball. A hard one though. Look at the pictures! No holes to slow it down!


- Nicholas A. Marsico

[Crashing Cars] With My Son

Deke and I have spent countless hours "playing toys" as he likes to put it. When he was younger, the little guy was absolutely obsessed with making sure all of his trucks and cars and helicopters and airplanes and motorcycles and spaceships and bicycles and boats and hovercars and unicycles and hot air balloons and wheelchairs and rickshaws and -- you get the point. He has a lot of toys.

His first toy, my sentimental favourite (I'll take a picture of the real thing later).

To finish the above sentence, he was obsessed with lining up all of his vehicles single file or side-by-side in as symmetrical a fashion as he could. I didn't help matters when I taught him to sort them by color and vehicle type. It was an obsessive compulsive dream, and he did NOT like when somebody moved a toy even the slightest bit. We have since moved past that phase, and now we play out entire scenarios and stories involving multiple cars and trucks, different people, places, activities and the like. I think the best one was what he started doing shortly after he had his first Slurpee. He would have his imaginary man jump in the car and take a nice drive over to 7-Eleven to order one Slurpee. There would be a pause and he would ask if I wanted one too, and I always said yes, and he would order one for me as well. He paid the cashier, got in his car and drove on home to deliver the cold and slushy joy.

We also had the obligatory races around the room, cops chasing the bad guys and rocket ship launches. Sometimes, however, we throw all of that stuff out the window and stop messing around. This is the time for destruction. Most toy cars survive the perilous onslaught of mischievous might, but sometimes a plastic truck that is more susceptible to the hazards of head-on collisions winds up scattered throughout the room.

Understatement.

It's not just mindless thuggery, though. We destroyed a truck that I happened to really enjoy, but upon seeing its insides an idea hit me. Let's turn this into an educational experience! It was one of those cars that you can pull backwards to essentially wind up before letting go and watching it move on its own, so the little gears and gadgets that made that magic happen became a lesson in simple mechanics. We're working on setting up a day worth of mechanical experiments to explore as well, with this example being the starting point that refreshes his memory on the subject. Such is the wonder of homeschooling. Frivolous toy slaughter morphs into a science lesson in the blink of an eye. Or the snap of an axle. However you prefer to word it.

- Nicholas A. Marsico

[Alphabet Games] With My Son

During an excursion to the big mall this past Saturday to see Hop, I brought my little family to Barnes & Noble for our customary last stop before plopping in front of the big screen. There seems to be something new and interesting every time we set foot inside any B&N (though I could do without the person badgering everybody about the Nook the second they walk over the threshold), and this time was no different.

This is the only thing I ever think of when I see the B&N Nook.

This time around my wife came upon a very cute-looking game called "Alphabet Squiggle". We were all very excited to play it when we got home -- Deacon even exclaimed that he would rather just skip the movie and try out his new game. We may have obliged him if we hadn't already paid in excess of $3 million for the tickets. Let's move on lest I begin a rant on the ridiculous price of movie tickets.

Deke is no slouch in the alphabet department. We've already covered the fact that he knows his numbers, but his ability to recite the alphabet and recognize any letter we show him is quite impressive. He's not perfect with handwriting (who can expect him to be... he's not even 5 yet), and this game has thus far been a very fun way of helping the process along. The basic idea is that you roll a die (like in the vast majority of the board games we all know and love) and move the amount of spaces that correspond with your roll. When you land on your space, you must write the letter and then get creative. There are two routes: write a word that starts with that letter or turn the letter into a picture. That's how we play.

Not bad, but my drawing scored more points.

If your drawing starts with the same letter as the one you landed on and wrote down you get to move two spaces ahead on the game board. Deke's drawing got him one extra space while mine garnered two:

This one was definitely deserving of the pat on the back I gave myself.

I foresee this game helping him a significant amount as he pushes further ahead in his journey to learn how to read. I think my favourite part of this particular outing was when he not only correctly identified "F" but also decided to let me know it made the "ffffffffffff" sound, and he did that without prompting. I was very proud.


- Nicholas A. Marsico


Other Sources:
Games That Help Kids Learn the Alphabet
Alphabet Games

[Making Smoothies] With My Son

It's not easy to eat healthy and stay in shape. When you're busy and stressed you end up without time and tired. One tactic I used when I embarked on my original weight loss program was blending up a bunch of fruit with ice, yogurt and milk or orange juice. These smoothies became a very good meal enhancer, for lack of a better term, as they curbed my appetite enough to help me eat smaller meals while filling me with energy and nutrients that helped me exercise harder.

When Deke saw a short feature about making smoothies on Nick Jr he decided that this would be his newest favourite treat. Fine with me. Delicious? Check. Nutritious? Check. Fun to make with a possibility of a large mess? Check mate.

As long as it's him and not me.

I have given Deacon free rein to use whatever ingredients (within reason) that he wants. Some concoctions:

-- Blueberry Blueberry Blueberry Blueberry Blueberry Vanilla
-- Banana Pineapple*
-- Blackberry Pineapple Orange Juice
-- Chocolate Chip Strawberry Pineapple

I'll be honest, the last one was my fault. I made a joke to my wife that Dekester overheard and he decided that chocolate chips would tie the whole smoothie together. It wasn't bad, either.

Right now Dekey tends to enjoy the smoothies as a fun treat rather than a healthy meal, but we love choosing the ingredients together and discussing what the combinations may taste like. He also enjoys learning different things about the fruits (the interesting core of a pineapple, the seeds on the outside of a strawberry, why some cherries have pits and some don't, etc). I've mentioned in the past that my wife and I are homeschooling Deke. One of the great things about homeschooling is that any activity can become a lesson (in fact by now most activities carry some educational merit) and it makes him want to learn.

What's more interesting? Poorly cutting out a traced strawberry-like shape and pasting weird looking dots that are supposed to be seeds or cutting through a big, juicy strawberry and studying the colors and putting different parts under a microscope?


- Nicholas A. Marsico

* It was more like banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana banana pineapple

Other sources:
MyPyramid.gov - Inside the Pyramid

[Playing Cards] With My Son

My wife has begun to prepare Deacon and I for our trip down to Florida this summer to see her grandparents. Grandpa Don and Grandma Helene (who continually spells my name "Nickolas") LOVE playing cards. Card games are something of a big deal in my wife's family. They love to play Hand and Foot, all versions of Euchre (pronounced like my favourite baseball announcer of all time), Spades, Rummy and Gin among what I am sure are countless others.

I know how to play War.

The Deker knows his numbers. He has been able to identify numbers all the way up to 20, without hesitation, since before he was four (he's going to be five in July). I really don't know why it didn't dawn on me sooner that the boy would be a fan of playing with a set of 52 shiny, slick, sleek flash cards. He certainly has enjoyed making me play 52-card pickup in the past, though. Full of mischief, this kid.

I should have taken the time to photoshop Deke's face onto this image.

I know how to play War, Go Fish and Crazy Eights. Deacon has taken to these games as though he's been playing them for his whole life. Mallory (I assume I should probably reference my wife by her name eventually) taught him the different suits, I gave him a bootcamp on the values of Jack, Queen, King and Ace in relation to each other. He has no problem telling me that his Queen beats my 7 when we play War and he doesn't hesitate when he has no 5s in Crazy Eights -- he just grabs one of his diamond suited cards and tosses it onto the growing pile. A few nights ago I taught him to dramatically toss his card onto the pile while saying "BLAH-DOW!" to emphasize that he was a superior being in the realm of Crazy Eights.

I still won that hand, though.

As Deacon continues to grow older (much to mine and my wife's chagrin), we are able to enjoy more complex and involved games and activities. He can help write "Thank You" letters to people who send us cards for Christmas or birthdays and he can play Guess Who without having to be guided along by a partner.

He can also hold a legitimate phone conversation, which is fantastic when I haven't been able to see him for more than 36 hours because I'm at work and school. It helps us miss each other a lot less when we can both understand what the other is saying.

It also allows him to tell me that I forgot to get something that I promised I would bring home. Maybe I don't love the fact that we can fully understand each other. He's like... a real person with memories and emotions.

- Nicholas A. Marsico

Other Sources:

How To Promote Learning By Playing Card Games

[Going Gluten Free] With My Son

After months of pain that had steadily worsened, my wife finally convinced me to visit my doctor. Visits to 3 other doctors followed, but the headaches and stomach pains remained. And they still remain, but at least now I have some ideas as to why.

Celiac Disease disallows those diagnosed to eat any food containing gluten or wheat. Lactose intolerance is less severe but possibly more annoying, especially considering my undying love for ice cream.

I couldn't choose how to depict ice cream. This is it. Enjoy.

You can study up on any of these subjects later. You can also just simply go have some ice cream and taunt me about it next time you see me. Whatever you prefer is fine with me. What you choose to do won't be nearly as thoughtful, sweet, respectable or especially admirable as what Deacon has done. When my wife and I told him that I could no longer eat anything with wheat or gluten, he asked if there was anything he could do to help his daddy. There certainly was -- if he wanted to be able to give his daddy a kiss, he would have to join us in saying goodbye to regular bread, cookies, crackers (no more Cheez-Its or Goldfish, most specifically) and pretty much any processed food that can be picked up at the local grocery store. Mommy promised to make snacks just like these for him, and he readily agreed to do whatever he needed to do in order to make sure I would be just fine.

One reaction Deke seemed to experience when I first started admitting that there was something wrong with me was sympathy pain. His belly hurt, he was having uncomfortable... moments, and he even complained about headaches. His symptoms mirrored mine but have since subsided and he's doing just fine, so don't worry. My favourite Deke response to this new development in our lives is how he has been very careful to make sure that what he is eating is Gluten Free.

"Oooh, you made steak! Can you cut some up for-- hey, is this gluten free?"

And he does that for almost everything.

At Shoprite the other day we were searching for some of the many different flours needed to produce gluten free breads and pastas, and Deacon walks up to me with a box in his hand.

Always thinking of his daddy!

We weren't in a gluten free aisle nor were we in a section in which all of those products were grouped together. The one he grabbed and offered to me was on the shelf next to the rest of the run-of-the-mill cookie mixes.

It's not going to be an easy -- or cheap -- transition, but the support of my family is going to keep my spirits up and make my life a whole lot less stressful. And I love them for it. I really don't think they realize how much.


- Nicholas A. Marsico

Other Sources:
Celiac Disease (Celiac.com)
Gluten Free Registry
Celiac Disease (NDDIC)

[Cache In, Trash Out] With My Son

This past Saturday could not have been a more perfect day for the first Geocache of the year. My wife, son and I set out to find three hidden treasures. We only found one, which was located less than 50 feet from where we parked in the parking lot of the... park. At least it wasn't in Park Ridge.

It would have been funny, though.

Will a picture of the very cute trinket we got from the cache make you forget the "joke"?

Maybe not. Anyway...

The big positive that came from this foray was that we participated in the very eco-friendly (and quite frankly, just right) initiative aptly entitled "Cache In, Trash Out". CITO encourages Geocachers around the world to make the beautiful locations even more aesthetically pleasing while at the same time making a difference.

Pictured: Two kids not nearly as cute as me. *

Deacon ended up being more excited to clean up the woods than continuing our hunt for the elusive 2nd cache of the day, which my wife was absolutely elated about. He even offered his coat hood when we expressed disappointment that we hadn't brought any garbage bags along. That's my boy. I really think we're raising him right.

Next time we go out the three of us intend to make a day of CITO. I hope some of you check out the links and get involved, too.

- Nicholas A. Marsico

* Not nearly as cute as my son, I mean. Really. I am cute, though, right?

Right?


Other sources:
CITO Event Calendar
GAGB >> Cache In Trash Out
The New Geocaching Mantra of Eco-Resorts
Cache In, Trash Out: Geocache Rules for Everyone

[Geocaching] With My Son

Ever heard of Geocaching?

Click Me!

Don't worry, me neither. My wife, however, has been well aware of this for YEARS and kept it a secret for the first 6 months of our relationship. Either that or I began courting her at the end of fall and it just never came up until spring was upon us. Depends on whose side you're on.

Geocaching is a fantastic idea if you have a family and want to spend a day outdoors, if you're an adventurer itching to explore places you've never been to or even by yourself or with a friend looking to explore the crevices of places you're already familiar with. Geocaches are hiding everywhere -- I guarantee that if you visit the above website and search for caches near your area there's at least one hidden in a place you know about. It could be a place you have spent so many summer days hanging out with your friends, never the wiser that tucked neatly behind the bushes in the corner of the park is a treasure that a whole community of people have shared. Maybe it's a playground or wooded area that you have driven past a thousand times but never really noticed.

That was certainly the case for me. My wife and son are not as familiar as I am with the area we live in; I've been here for 20 of my 25 years and they moved in a little over two years ago. The first few caches we ventured out to find were new and exciting locations for them. I recognized the sites immediately and was amazed that for all these years there was an incredibly cool society of people sharing a secret right under my nose that I had now become a part of.

Deacon, much like any kid, is a big fan of "prizes". When we told him that we were going to be going on adventures (another kid favourite) to look for secret (another!) hidden prizes, he was beyond excited. The first cache we sought out was in a residential area off to the side of a road that we had driven past hundreds of times. There was a beautiful wooden bridge over a stream that leads to the reservoir. Geese and ducks were all around. In fact, a small flock of geese flew so low they almost knocked Deke's hat off! But where was the hidden prize? Like the video says, our GPS led us to the area and now it was our turn to make the Marsico Family's first discovery. It wasn't in clear view, but the clue gave my wife and I immediate confirmation of where we should look. We couldn't find it, though, and my son suggested "how about Daddy goes under the bridge?"

I guess the clue (an overplayed, underrated Red Hot Chili Peppers song) was more literal than expected, so I hopped over the side of the bridge, rather gracefully*, and found myself face-to-face with our first ever successful geocache! Deacon was elated and would not let go of the little stuffed American Flag star that we found, carrying it with him for the rest of our caching day (we found nothing else, sadly).

Since that day we have gone on many more geocaching journeys, some fruitful, some not, but always educational and fun. Deacon has been able to study leaves and other plants in different forests that our GPS has led us to and he's learning how to read a compass. Much like many of the activities and games we partake in, he is gaining knowledge through fun and interactive experiences that he gets to share with his family. This is one of the core factors of a successful homeschooling program, but we'll get deeper into that later.

Most importantly, he, my wife and myself are spending quality time together out in the fresh air as a family building memories that will last with us forever, whether we have the tokens to remind us or not.


- Nicholas A. Marsico

* Classic!

Other sources:
Getting Started With Geocaching
Geocaching: Facts, Discussion Forum, and Encyclopedia Article

[Making Music] With My Son

I possess the smallest amount of musical talent that a human could possibly have while still maintaining the ability to walk a straight line. I'm tone deaf, have no sense of rhythm and I probably couldn't play "Chopsticks" on a piano if it was pre-programmed to automatically run.

My wife began playing the piano at age 6. When she was 10, she tested the pants off the musical aptitude test and was recommended to play the obscenely complicated oboe. The art of percussion took hold when she joined the high school band and was prominently featured playing, among other instruments, the quads and snare drum. To make this comparison even more drastically one-sided, my wife grew up in Michigan where school marching bands vastly overshadowed the football teams they represented.

So... where do you think Deacon acquired his knack for all things music?

As I write this, he's in the other room singing a medley of songs that we have introduced to him and that he's heard on the radio in accordance to the proper pitch, tone, beat or whatever (sorry, I know nothing about music in the technical sense). It sounds like it should. That's what I'm saying. Deke has progressed from tapping his foot to the simple beat of a song to playing his Fisher-Price drums with intensity while singing along and directing me on guitar. In his own words, he loves to "rock out".

Conversely, ever since he chose the ivories of a beautiful grand piano over the plastic buttons of the iteration of an instrument from a dying fad, Wolfgang Amadeus Deacon has been begging us to enroll him in piano lessons. Until he's old enough for that he can continue to immerse himself in amazing pieces such as Danny Elfman's "Ice Dance", one that you may know from the classic Tim Burton film Edward Scissorhands, along with works from Mozart, Bach, Vivaldi and a plethora of others.

Being exposed to music at an early age can help with a child's language development and ability to hear, understand and distinguish sounds. Learning an instrument and playing music helps sharpen the ability to concentrate on a task. Dancing (a future topic here, most certainly) aids and enhances motor skills.





Deacon is going to be way more talented than his parents.


- Nicholas A. Marsico

Other sources:
Music and Child Development
Importance of Music in Early Childhood (Associated Content)
Importance of Music in Early Childhood (Music Together)
Importance of Exposing Your Children to Art, Dance and Music

[Reading] With My Son

My wife and I, over this past year, have toned down the amount of television and video games in our lives in favor of board games, coloring (though not nearly enough), arts and crafts, and most importantly, reading.

Deke is a smart kid and being read to day and night has taught him things that many adults wouldn't be able to tell you. Ask him who painted the Sistine Chapel, what galaxy we live in or how old the average alligator lives to be. If he's feeling especially cynical he'll roll his eyes and lethargically answer you with a tone in his voice that conveys his emotions quite specifically: "I'm not your monkey and these questions are too simple for my highly advanced intellect, father!" The proper response to this, should you ever find yourself on the business end of my son's understated venom, is to ask him how to spell Michelangelo. Then you pump your fist victoriously and walk away with an over-exaggerated swagger while he looks on with a face covered in exasperation and utter confusion.

Every night before bed the Deeker and I choose a book, get inside his bed tent and spend at least half an hour reading. He stops me and asks questions about the story and I point out different sight words for him to read. When we get to his favourite passages in our most-read books he recites the words along with me. It has become a great bonding experience -- the rest of the world doesn't exist when he and I are in his room with each other and a story. He may not want to go to bed, but he knows that his daddy is going to be there, every night, to cuddle up and share a bedtime story.

Being read to has already proven to strengthen his imagination; he and my wife caught The Tale of Despereaux on TV a few weeks ago, and to his dismay the film looked nothing like the world he had created in his mind during the time we spent reading the novel before bedtime. He still enjoyed the movie, but he preferred the book and wants to read it again. It was one of my absolute proudest moments as a father. We want Deacon to love reading just like us, and that was certainly an indication that he's on his way.

- Nicholas A. Marsico

Other sources:
Benefits of Reading to Children
Reading Before Bed

[Swordfighting] With My Son

Interestingly enough, as opposed as my wife and I are to perpetuating violence and violent behaviour, Deacon and I consistently endeavor into the realm of reckless abandon. He has taken great interest in one of my favourite pastimes, professional wrestling (which we will cover at a later date) and he loves video games in which he can control a character that can throw a spin-kick or toss apples at the baddies.

Deke loves to emulate any physical actions that he finds exciting (go figure, he's 4) including trapezing over the furniture into pratfalls akin to what he sees on the "big balls" from WipeOut and shaking his butt like the baby in the Just Dance 2 commercial.

Thanks to the Wii Virtual Console we have been able to revisit old favourites and explore the worlds of games that we have only heard about. I introduced my son to some of my favourites and he has become a big fan of Super Smash Brothers and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. His favourite character in SSB is Link, the wood elf (I believe...) who is the main character of the Zelda series. Link, for those unfamiliar with him (check out the links*!) is a sword-wielding elven fairy boy (Nintendo's words, not mine) that finds himself tasked with saving the royal land of Hyrule. He fights giant green spiders, backflips over pits of lava, sneaks past castle guards and encounters zombie skeleton dog-things. One would surmise this to be a 4-year-old's dream.

As destiny would have it, Target's mostly $1 item bargain section recently stocked up on cheap foam swords. Deacon's head exploded. When it creepily regenerated he begged for the swords, citing that he wanted them "because I love you", a tactic that almost never works with us any more. We promised that if he was good, we'd consider buying them the next time we shopped at the aforementioned French boutique. He was good (ish) and we bought the swords, putting us out $3, which caused me to reconsider staying in college due to the ongoing accrual of debt.

People would probably pay to watch Deacon and marvel at his swashbuckling acumen (which would pull me from the debtors' hole), but more importantly he and I have spent hours going back and forth with our swords and pillow shields. He's Captain Jack Sparrow and I'm Davey Jones, he's Link and I'm a generic video game bad guy or we're both good guys and we have to get rid of the ghosts and zombies. I sometimes wonder if Dekey's predilection for serving martial justice is a sign of his understanding of good versus evil or a warning sign that this exposure to animated violence may have a negative effect on him in the future.

Violence in the media is a largely contested topic; do kids exposed to anything other than the Wonder Pets** become maladjusted introverts completely unaffected by any brutality viewed in the future? Marilyn Manson has been blamed for students murdering their classmates and World Wrestling Entertainment is a regular scapegoat targeted by misguided groups such as the Parents Television Council. It is beyond obvious that children will mimic entertaining actions and verbiage that they witness, be it from people they meet or any mass medium absorbed throughout their formative years. This soapbox beneath me*** allows me to state that it's the job of the parents to monitor what their children watch, but more so it is their job to raise their chitlins with a proper understanding of "right", "wrong", "appropriate" and "inappropriate", among other values.

Let's open this can of worms up for discussion. Is television to blame for the actions of the impressionable mind? Do the creators of TV shows have to consider that children may be watching? Should the networks censor content or remove shows from their lineups because a kid might get the wrong impression? Or is it the job of parents to know what their kids are watching and playing and either stop it from happening or explaining the concept? Is there too much violence on TV? Does it matter? Does your mom hate it?

- Nicholas A. Marsico

* Get it? Links?
** Though I do have plenty of issues with this show.
*** Plus, I'm a father now. Not just talking from my derriere any more.

Other sources:
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychology
Parents Television Council
Ridgewood High School, IL